job hunting...

Much like somebody else on the intermanet, I am currently job hunting. Possibly my favourite job hunting experience of all time was had today...

*PHONE RINGS*
Me: "Hello, Byron speaking"
Her: "Hi! Can I Speak To Byron please?"
Me: "Uh. This is Byron."
Her: "Oh yeah. You said that. Haha."
"My name is Amber-Tifanny*, and I'm calling from Assclowns Inc.* in reference to the application you made with us"
Me: "Mmm hmm"
Her: "So I was wondering if you had a few minutes for me to conduct a pre-interview with you?"
Me: "You mean a phone interview?"
Her: "No. A pre-interview. You might have a phone interview if the pre-interview is successful"
Me: "Uh. Ok. So there is a pre-interview, then a phone interview, then an interview?"
Her: "No." *silence*
Me: "So... could you explain the process to me then?"
Her: *exasperated tone* "WELL. There's the pre-interview, which is like, now. Then a phone interview. Then like... a follow-up phone interview. Then an asessment session. Then a skills test. Then a like... group interview. Then a one-on-one preliminary interview... Blahblahblahblahblah......"
Me: "So, how long exactly does this process take... a few weeks?"
Her: "I don't know"
Me: "Uh, right. Ok. Well, shall we get on with it then?"
Her: Series of stupid questions that could all be answered by referring to my resumé, which she has in front of her. I know this because every sentence she says is prefixed by "I'm just glancing at your resumé which I HAVE IN FRONT OF ME"
Me: "So that's it then?"
Her: "No." (silence, again)
Me: "So there was something else?"
Her: "Oh yeah. I need your phone number for our records. Haha"
Me: "You mean the number on which you called me, and are currently speaking to me on?"
Her: "Yes"
Me: *stunned silence* "Ok. It's 555-5555*"
Her: "Thanks for your time. I'll be speaking to you soon."
Me: "I look forward to hearing from you"
Her: "Oh, no. I meant you probably... oh. ummm. haha. ok. well. bye!"
*hangs up*
*Byron bashes head against desk... trying to numb the pain*

*names and details have been changed to protect the identities of those involved

Comments

[huniii]

I hope to GOD thatyou dont get that job. Can you imagine dealing with people who hire someone like our good friend Amber-Tiffany?I wish you luck in finding non-bogan employment

[Sam]

Amber-Tiffany sounds disturbingly familiar...

[Byron]

Huniii - Rest assured I have no interest whatsoever in working for said organisation. I firmly believe that six interviews is far too many for any normal person to endure for one measly little call centre job.Sam - I think it's a requirement that all companies have at least one Amber-Tiffany in their HR department... At one of my previous places of work, the "Amber-Tiffany" was actually the National HR Manager...

[Steph]

Ohhh i feel your pain! I find a good dose of alcahol and debauched shenanigans can soothe the ache!

[audrey]

I didn't know my old place of employ was hiring...

[Kezza]

Great... and to think, I'm about to put myself in the same situation... sigh.Oh and since you asked: http://kezkc.blogspot.com/2006/03/photographic-evidence_20.html (sorry I can't do pretty little linky things!)

[Byron]

Steph - Rest assured the pain was drowned sufficiently well... but alas no debauched shenanigansAudrey - Unless your former place of work rhymes with Doca Dola Damatil and is the largest beverage company in the world... then I fear there may be many of these women out there. Far too many.Kez - So you'll be on the job hunt soon too... What exactly does a parts interpreter do, by the way?Oh and I do love a gorgeous man in glasses... :P

[metromon]

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